COMING IN FROM THE RAIN WITH A SCOWL ON MY FACE.
12 November 2022
I have a pot of chana dahl simmering on the stove. The packet says it will take half an hour to cook but I don’t believe it; I think more like a couple of hours. At some point tomatoes, spices, onions, ginger and garlic will end up turning it into Tarka Dahl. This pleases me very much. I also have a very large cut price packet of spinach waiting to be cooked later and a fillet of smoked haddock. I think this might be a strange combination of a meal but it appeals to me anyway.
Not too sure what I will cook Wendy and the children when they are ready for tea but there is no hurry as they ate in town in the afternoon with their Nana.
Wendy is in bed upstairs, Charlotte is curled up on the sofa with her tablet, James is in his room with his Xbox and I am on the sofa bed listening to the radio.
It is such a relief to have the evening ahead. Wendy and Charlotte are threatening to find another ridiculous Christmas movie that they can laugh at and then laugh at me even more when I tell them to be quiet because yet again I will be absorbed in whether the nanny gets to marry the king as, of course she will, which will make me smile when it happens.
This time yesterday evening I was standing at a bus stop with rain dripping off my hood onto my face wondering when the 1B bus would turn up. My train had stopped early because there was flooding on the track so I was having to find another way home from work.
When I finally reached the house, I belatedly realised I had left my car back at the train station in the morning and so would have to go back the next day to pick it up. In the sitting room I embarked on a long rant about the week’s work; a long rant that Wendy enthusiastically listened to. Sometimes when you are very, very, tired and a wee bit frustrated, a full on enthusiastic rant is just what you need.
I wonder what it is about work that makes you feel glad you do the work you do? I suppose somewhere there will be reams and reams of research about this but I am too contrary to google it and find out.
I think really feeling valued and treasured makes a difference; thinking there is a purpose to what you do. To me that is important.
So is having control and autonomy; knowing your skills are respected, not having to ask permission for every tiny thing and yet at the same time having support when things go wrong as they always will do at some point.
Having people around you who you get on with, that is so important too. The chance to witter and confess and laugh and get inspired, I need that.
Being thanked and knowing those thanks are sincere, I like that too and of course getting enough pay, the right conditions of service; that sort of thing.
And finally when it has been a bad week; having a home to return to where there is often laughter and warmth and peace and the smell of the dahl cooking on the stove with someone you love ready to listen to your tired frustration because even in the very best of jobs you can get frustrated! And as the evening draws in; kisses and a bed and time to sleep uninterrupted.
I am very lucky in this; very lucky indeed. I think I would struggle if I were to come home to a cold house and silence and no one to listen to, when I want to say how hard the week has been.
(Photo: food for my meal. November 2022)
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